In Memory Of...

It's hard to loose someone you love, especially when you feel like it was unfair. We all grieve in different ways, some of us more public then others. Some of us remember our loved ones more privately then others. I chose to get a tattoo.

Tomorrow, January 4th, would have been my cousin's 43rd birthday. She was taken from us far too early, and her passing is still a hole in my heart.

My mother jokes how her and her brother are 10 year shadows. My cousin Kerry was 10 years older then I was, yet we had children the same age (her youngest, and my oldest are only a few days apart). I have so many fond memories of Kerry... she always put up with her younger cousin! :)  Most of the memories I have though are when I'm older. I have one very vivid memory of Kerry driving us around Sacramento in her car (us meaning my brother and I) She had the radio on loud and we were all singing very loud "I wanna be rich" - Calloway. I remember going to a little fair once with Kerry and her sister, our other fabulous cousin, Kristin. Of course some of my favorite memories are of us riding the 3-wheeler through the orchards at my uncle's house.

When I was in Jr. High, I got into letter writing. I would write to Kerry, and she would write back. What I wouldn't give to have those letters now (it's a long story of how they accidentally got thrown away, retrieved, then thrown away again). As we got older, our letter writing became almost nil, and I am ashamed to say that I let so much time go by without seeing her. I am so happy we made the time to visit with Kerry and her family when she came out to CA in July of 2010. Before that, it had been 8 years since I had seen her. It was the last time I got to see my Kerry.

This past year, I have had Kerry on my mind a lot. This fall, I felt compelled to remember Kerry in my own way (hence the tattoo) and I have joined a Relay for Life team (something I've always wanted to do, but never felt the push until this past year, near the anniversary of Kerry's passing, I felt this extra push. I know it came from her).

So, I write this to remember my lovely cousin. This is the only picture i seem to find on my computer of her. She is with her mom, my Aunt Gail. Love and miss you Kerry!