Sleep

I've been asked several times recently - "How did you get your kids to just go to sleep when they are supposed to?" - the simple answer? Cause I'm the meanest mom in the world who doesn't let my children sleep with me, and never did, and who has had her nights of yelling at the kids to go to sleep.

OK, truly, I don't know how I got my kids to sleep when they are supposed to, but it's the one thing I know I did right, cause I love it. But truly, I did have some "rules" early on, and I think that this helped to make it so. The rules, a lot of praying and whole lot of luck - and they go to bed almost with no fuss.

So, here were my rules.... and you are going to feel like I'm seriously heartless.

1. No sleeping with mom and dad. After having to rock Xavier to sleep for the first 6 months, I did the whole detachment thing - laid him down every night  and have him cry himself to sleep. Let me tell you, hardest thing in my life! he cried to himself for at least 5 min every night from when he was 6 months old until he was about 2 1/2 and we placed Quinn in his room. Yup, the kid was just lonely. I wonder though how hard it would have been if he slept with us when he was a baby and we started having him NOT sleep with us when he was 2. ACK. Yeah, no sleeping with us. That is not to say that they cannot come in and cuddle. There have been times when they had a bad dream, couldn't sleep at night, woke up early  - I would let them hop into bed and "cuddle" I'd usually let them do this for 2-5 minutes, and then give them a warning: "OK, I'm going to count to 10, and then you'll have to go to bed." I'd count slowly and then at 10, I would walk them back to their room, sometimes rub a back a little, sing a little song, or just a kiss on the head... and they would go back to sleep in their OWN bed. They are 9 and almost 11, and still come in if they wake up before 7AM to "cuddle" with me.

2. They have a bedtime! Yes, my kids have a bedtime! That's not to say that we have stretched it here and there, but they have a set bedtime. When they were younger, it was 7:30, as they have gotten older, it's moved to 8:00 during school nights, 8:30 during non school nights. But, they need sleep. I learned early on that bedtime went horrible if they stayed up late. Of course now, it's kind of a moot point - I can put them to bed at 10 and have the same result as 8, but I think this helped with early bedtime development. :) Family and friends used to get frustrated with us when we would leave a family dinner at 7:00 because of their bedtime. Well, I'm not because every time we would give in to the pressure to stay just a little longer, we were ALWAYS sorry.

3. Bedtime has a routine! The routine has changed slightly over the years as the kids have gotten older, but there is a still a routine. When they were younger, we got ready for bed, brushed teeth, read a book, turned on music, lights out.  It now consists of them getting themselves ready plus brushing teeth, 10-20 min of silent reading IN bed - hugs and lights out. Routine! cant' say enough. Start it early!!

That's it - all my rules. OK, you may be asking what about the stalling some kids do - "I have to go potty" or "I need a drink of water" - well, going potty right before bed was part of "getting ready for bed and we have always had a water bottle near their bed for those late night water urges. My other thing is - don't give in. The minute you give in - everything you've worked for is out the window! that's right, it's going to take at least 10 times, or MORE, of you NOT giving in to undo that one time of you giving in!! seriously.... "oh please mom, lay with me a little bit" - don't do it if you want them to just go to bed in the future... :)

OK, so now that you probably are thinking that I'm a cruel mom who can't possibly let my children sleep with me at night, and how heartless I am for not catering to my children - know that I am very happy - getting tons of "me" time at night, or time with my husband, PLUS sleep! :)